Ocean's Advocate: Rant for the Whales

With the exception of the Asians that don't find shark fins or whale penis titillating - I'm lashing out against those who float their boats with this sick shit. Yes, pun intended.

Okay, seriously Asia. Whale hunting? Whale. Hunting. GAH! Where to begin numbering my anger?!  >_<

Number one, is it really that difficult to "hunt" a whale. Don't you just pretty much just motor boat on over.. no, not THAT motor boat... although, that would be rather interesting to see some little Asian men with their faces in the water "motor boating" across the surface... that would take talent... anyhoo, I digress... instead of hunting, don't you just ride on over to where one of those beautiful creatures is just chilling and minding their own and MURDER them in cold blood? Really? That's like me saying I'm gonna bake a cake but then kill a baker and take his. There was no talent involved, just senseless killing! Amirite?!

Number two, I guess I could kind of understand this if whales were plentiful and your people were starving and used every piece of the whale to feed everyone. But ya don't. Ya don't! You take the most expensive pieces, then discard the rest. Most of what you use you claim that these "magical whale bits" contain some sort of sexual hoodoo to give you more of a sexual appetite and a bigger schlong. You know what does those exact same things? Porn and a penis pump, AND they don't hurt anyone in the process... I mean, unless you don't read the instructions on the penis pump and misuse it and have to call 911 to get the firemen to come use the jaws of life on you....... no, I am NOT speaking from personal experience.

Number three, the world really hates you for this! No, like, REALLY. Do you think we're cheering you on saying, "Yeah, go destroy that majestic beauty and rid the world of balance in its environment. Stupid whale, thinking he's the shit 'cause he's SO big. Pfft. Oh yeah, whale, well, you may be big, but you're still one. Here comes the entire population of Asia after your ass. All 478 gajillion of them. That's fair right, one big to 478 gajillion small?"
Seriously, we hate you. We hate you worse than any Disney villain that was given life from pen. I'm sure Hitler would even say, "Whoa dude, that's harsh." You guys are fucking insane! I mean, the proof is in the anime! That crap is bat-shit on animated cells! No wonder your kids watch this drivel and go into seizures! Maybe that's what's wrong with you; brain damage from anime, and your twisted little brain thinks that murder and "magical whale bit" sex will cure you of your insatiable hunger.

Do us all a favor. Save a whale, use a penis pump.

^_^

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