Kiki ruins another holiday. Oh, Kiki. :-P
Haaay! Y'all know what today is?! Dat's right! Time to hide under yo bed so those creepy little naked angel babies don't shoot yo' ass! Who thought this was a good day to celebrate?! Chidlins with weapons is a serious issue! Anyhoo... it's also Valentimes... Balentines........ it's V-Day, y'all! The day that you spend all you money trying impress that certain honey you got yo eye on and tap dat ass! Well, I'm here to help you get laid AND save you some money, with Kiki the Lesbian Pirate's Bootleg DVDs! You can get all the romantic... and even freaky.... DVDs your little heart desires.
Gone with the Weave - Once the wig was off, it was on!
Room with a Jew - It may be a cheap dump, but it's got running water! That's romantic, right?! Oy vey!
BrokeBlack Mountain - A desperate bruthuh will do anything for money... and love!
You've Got FaceBook Pokes - For quick and easy ways to say "hello"!
Runaway Bitch - Next time you'll know to tie dat ho up!
Love Actually... Sucks - Fugg the love, gimmie the push and shove.
Shaniqua Jones's Diary - Dear Diary, Finally found a good man. He got a job and hits me only every other day.
When a Man Feeds a Woman - He expects that bitch to put out!
100 First Dates - Why stop at 50? Especially when a girl forgets you the next day and you convince her with "No baby, you said you liked it in the backdoor"
A Wok to Remember - Stir fry this big gurl up some good lovin' and noodles, PF Changs!
Casa del Blanca - When an Hispanic man falls for an uppity white bitch, you know something freak gonna happen there!
When RoShawn Met Paula - Well, they never actually met yet, but once she returns his calls, game on bitch!
Sleepless in The Ghetto - He did a drive by on my heart. No... really... love in the hood is a dangerous thing.
and There's Something About LaQueefa - He's captivated by her smell and high pitched sounds of love.
So come on down to Kiki's DVD Emporium, located in the parking lot of the Stop 'n Go! If I don't have it, I'll get it in a minute! 100% guarantee, and as always 100% $1 each!
A'ight, I gots tuh go return this damn camera to the pawn shop before they realize that I stole it and come lookin' fo' me. Remember:
Roses are Red
Poppies are, too
But if I see red with blue
I'm-a act like I don't know you!
Kiki's V-Day Outtakes