Monday, September 17, 2012

The Final Hit: Weeds Series Finale

Okay, this is my own personal take on the Weeds series finale, so if you have not seen it and wish to remain spoiler free, please do not continue reading...

First of all, I have to call bullshit on this entire fucking final season.  This was all too rushed, tied up in a pretty bow, sent off with a phony grin, and delivered via satisfactory mail, postage paid with a whimper, which arrived all crumpled up and crushed to death.  I kind of liked where it was going in the beginning as I unpacked it while flinging Styrofoam peanuts and bubble wrap everywhere, but where it ended up, which was butt fuck Egypt, was not where I would have liked to see the final destination.  I feel like I have been slapped in the face and told "Here!  This is what you wanted!  One last season.  Enjoy, you greedy mother fucker!"  SO much left unanswered, so much ignored, so much more skipped over and filled in with 'happy endings'.

Weeds is not about 'happy endings'.

I have two views on this.

My first view: Make a movie.  Give us one big last hurrah.  One more huge issue to overcome.  One last 'big bad'.  One more final heroic triumph for Nancy and the Botwins to show us that they mean business and they are NOT going to take shit from ANYONE.  Don't skip over the battles.  The battles are what kept us coming back each week!  Every episode prior to this last dying specimen left us thinking "Holy shit!  What the fuck is going to happen next week?  HOW are they going to get out of THIS mess?"  This final season left us thinking "Holy shit!  She survived a bullet to the fucking head?  How will this affect her daily life?  Will she walk?  Is the bullet really moving?  What the fuck happened to Celia?!  Will Nancy ever get goat's milk?"  Bo-ring.  Then, on the SERIES finale, you flash forward us into the fucking FUTURE, with paper-thin iPhone wannabes, people-less dry cleaners that malfunction, facial hair on everyone, legal marijuana, and babies named Obama, just to beat us over the head with the fact that we are, indeed, in the future.  We get it... you screwed us over, we did a time jump and missed a shit-load.  Message received, loud and clear!  Finally... FINALLY... the very last scene... oh my GOD, the very last scene... the Botwins (and Doug) sitting on the stairs in the snow, sharing a legal joint, staring in the general direction of the camera, smiling and giggling at the instant potato flakes littering the screen... and then you fade to the credits?!  WHAT?!  *entering angry black girl mode*  Oh, HELL no!  You CANNOT resolve an entire series with joint giggles!  I really feel like we have been jilted on a proper send off for this family that we have followed for so long.  Give us one last theatrical release (that so many MANY people will gladly pay for) with the REAL ending that the true fans deserve.

My second view (opinion): Nancy is actually dead.  Or at least, dying... in a coma... and dreaming this entire last season while laying unconscious in a hospital bed.  I actually would have preferred this to be the final scene, the big final reveal, in lieu of the group snow pot shot; or at least have that scene fade into her taking her real final breath in the hospital bed as she took her first hit of the sticky icky in the dream scenario.  The whole theme of the final episode was that everyone was leaving Nancy, but I think it would have been tragically poetic to actually have HER leave everyone else as she passed away in the real world.  But, since that was not the case, I would've much rather of had the previous season finale be the series finale, with either Nancy getting shot (and killed, showing her tombstone in the final frame), or having Nancy's fate in the forever balance of cancellation limbo.  The entirety of season eight was just too far fetched, even by the standards set by Weeds.  Too surreal to be real.

Thoughts?  Opinions?  Rants?  Leave them.  I'll be sure to ignore them like this last episode did to me.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Drama, My Drama

Drama, My Drama 09-03-2012

Drama, my drama
Won't you leave me alone
You're attracted to me
like a dog and a bone

You catch me when silent
and all is still
You take all my hope
my energy, and my will

I like the peaceful
the post storm calm
But you hate my content
and replace it with qualm

Just go away now
You're not welcome, tramp
I revoke your invite
Just like a True Blood vamp