Sunday, December 26, 2010

12-26-2010 aka Kenzi Playing

It's a KENZI FRENZY!  ^_^

Playful Kenzi Bo Lauren after her first poop outside!!! I'm such a proud daddy! ^_^
Click here for her photo album!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

12-22-2010 aka Kiki's Holiday Commercial

Here's your holiday bonus: Kiki's outtakes.  ^_^

Friday, December 17, 2010

Huggin' Hos

Brad: hell, I can't even send cards this year! I'm giving out hugs this x-mas
Stacy: ooooh I'll take one! 
Brad: uuuhhhh.... yeah... I'll have the UPS man pass it on.... so, if a man gives you a hug out of the blue, make sure he is wearing a UPS uniform and says "This is from Brad"... otherwise, he's just a run of the mill perv
Stacy: that would be freakin' awesome 
Brad: you know, that should be a real service; call someone up, tell them to send a hug to someone.
Brad: but then again, that sounds like borderline prostitution...
Brad: "Thank you for calling Huggin' Hos, would you like to try our three way hug for half off?"
Stacy: that would be awesome though
Stacy: seriously 

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Lost Girl drinking game!!! ^_^

Created by Stephanie Smith and myself.

If the word "fae" is mentioned, take a sip.
Dyson shirtless, take a sip.
Bo kisses a girl, take a sip. Take two if it is Dr. Lauren
Dr. Lauren stares at Bo, mouth agape, sip until she closes it.
If a fae power is used, take a sip.
If Kenzi's hair color has changed, two sips; three if it looks freshly raped.
If someone eats something odd, take three sips.
If Kenzi uses any accent at all, take a sip.
If the Ash makes an appearance, take a sip.
If someone mentions Trick's past, sip.
Anytime a new fae is introduced, sip.
Anytime anyone has to explain fae lore to Bo, sip until she gets it.
Anytime the divide (dark and light fae) is mentioned, take a sip.
Dyson has to bail Bo out of a fae situation, take two sips.
Anytime the zombie hooker video game is mentioned, take a sip.
Dyson turns into a wolf, two sips; one if it is partial transformation.
Anytime Saskia/Aoife/Aífe/Eva/whatevs makes a sarcastic remark, sip to dull the pain of it.

UPDATE: Check out my holiday present: Kenzi Bo Lauren ^_^

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Damn Me [unfinished song] 12-15-2010

Had to jot this down real quick before I forgot it... The tune is in my head, but can't for the life of me write the music...  >_<

Damn Me [unfinished song] 12-15-2010

Damn me
and my curiosity
Damn the lies
and my blind trust I despise
Damn my heart that's aching
Damn my heart that's breaking
Damn the pain that I feel
Damn, I with this wasn't real

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Near Nasal Soda Enema Incident

Yes, I am a funny funny man, but dammit, Alexis Hudson , I almost cleared my sinuses with soda! >_< 
Thanks for the visual memory, Zach Luz !!! ^_^

Friday, December 10, 2010

Oh, we’re gonna have words, alright, “friend”!

A while back I started playing WordFeud on my Droid 2 (Words with Friends for you iPhone users, and Scrabble for the old school peeps) and since many of my friends do not have both an Android phone and the game, I usually just play with Arielle or some other random person.  Most people don’t utilize the chat feature that is implemented in the game, they just focus on the game itself.  Well, I started a new game today with some random person in the world, and went about playing.  On my second turn I was able to play the word ‘hexadic’ which landed on two double word bonus spaces making the score for that word 108.  My first double double!  ^_^  I’m guessing that didn’t sit too well with the ho-bag I was playing against.  I get the chat message “Cheat much?”  Cheat?  How the hell do you cheat at Scrabble?!  Know more words than the other person?  Yep, I’m a cheater, bitch.  I traveled back in time and invented the word ‘hexadic’, used it enough times, had it spread around the globe so more and more people used it, got it entered into the English dictionary, then came back to the present, hacked the game so I could get the exact tiles that I wanted at the exact moment, and then played that word.  I usually do not use such vulgar language as this, but I must in this instance: you ignorant cunt.  Why don’t you pick up a book sometime and learn some new words instead of lashing out at others for being obviously smarter and better at word games than you?  It’s not our fault you’re stupid!  Can't believe she almost ruined my first double double.  Now I need a triple triple to make up for it!

BTW, I am SO gonna mop the floor with your bitter, pathetic, limited vocabulary laden ass!  >_<

UPDATE: After a heated match of exchanging moves, where upon I had five to eight letter words and she played three to four letter words, she resigned and sent me the message "I don't play with cheaters."  How rude!  LOL!  Well, I don't play with dumb cows that can't own up to their own stupidity and would rather mope and blame others for their limited capacity.  Such sad sore losers out there!  :-P

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

"Call meh nao!"

Brad: I'm hongree! I'm SO gonna steam some chicken titties when I get home!
Stacy: Make me some too, please.  I might have to go to my parents tonight and get fed. 
Stacy: OMG, no shit, my mom just sent me a text msg asking if I wanted to come for dinner... for chicken.  It's like she KNEW!
Brad: ROFL!!!!! Psychic Jew Mama! She could have her own hotline and be the new Miss Cleo!  Miss Matzo!
Stacy: LMFAO!
Brad: Yeah, I had an audible chuckle on that one, too.
Brad: "Hello, I'm Mama Matzo. Would you like to know your future? Will you be rich beyond your dreams. Bubbeleh, take it from me; invest, invest, invest. So, call Mama Matzo and I'll tell ya what you need to know. What, you too good to call your Mama?!"
Stacy: I'm so sending that to my momma!
Brad: LOL!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Sick In Bed & BLACKOUT! O_O

So, I have been fighting off a major flu for the past week and have done nothing but work and sleep.  
I am currently on the mend so I will be back in full swing shortly.  
Until then, enjoy the two little videos that I uploaded during the battle for my health!  ^_^

Friday, November 12, 2010

11-12-2010 aka Papa John's is CRACK!

April Guadiana

Little does anyone know, but I was once a model!  No, really.  Stop laughing.  Okay, fine, keep laughing... I'm not gonna tell you about it or show you the pictures...

...that's more like it.  So, as you may know, I have an AWESOME friend named April who is a FANTASTIC artist (click her name to visit her FaceBook and add her as a friend!  Tell her Brad sent ya!  ^_^).  She has helped me out with illustrations of my novel-in-progress, Nobody, which one day we hope to turn into an actual comic... I just need to get back on the ball and write on it s'more.  Anyhoo, I digress.  A while back while April was still in college, she was taking art (of course) and photography.  Some of her photography assignments allowed her to blend in her art, also.  Trouble was she needed a model.  Guess who volunteered?!  ^_^  So, below are links to the three very fun and awesome projects that I was very honored in being a part of.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!  ^_^

Monday, November 8, 2010

Do you smell apples...? o_0

Stacy: so, I had a bunch of fruit for lunch, and I'm burping up weird fruit flavors
Stacy: I'm not enjoying this part of "I'm trying to be healthy"
Brad: ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!
Brad: *burps and smacks lips* "Mango? WTF? I didn't have a mango!"
Stacy: LMAO
Stacy: I had grapes, strawberries, cantaloupe, honeydew melon, watermelon and ... wait, I think that's it.
Brad: holy hell! and you're not shitting yourself? O_O
Stacy: lmao
Stacy: and then, I had a fiber one bar.
Brad: that is asking for a pants full of ass explosion... tempting fate, gurl...
Stacy: well, it was a small bowl of fruit
Stacy: and it was a small fiber one bar.
Stacy: lol
Brad: may I have permission to post this? this is funny as hell!
Stacy: ....*sighs* yes.
Brad: LOL
Brad: yay!
Brad: you'll be famous!!!
Brad: "Hey! Isn't that ass explosion girl?!"
Stacy: I like farting fruit girl better
Stacy: brapppt .... "hey, do you smell apple?"
Brad: LOL!!!!!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Another Ramen Night Alone 11-07-2010

Another Ramen Night Alone 11-07-2010

Another ramen night alone
as I sit staring at the phone
wondering if you're gonna call
or contact me at all
guess I'm better off on my own...

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Saturday, October 30, 2010

My Participation Ribbon 10-30-2010

My Participation Ribbon 10-30-2010

I strive to be first, but I'm always last
I clutch my participation ribbon steadfast
I see the others and where they have laid
I gleem in the fact that at least I played

10-30-2010 aka Insomnia & Kiki

Thursday, October 28, 2010

M.A.R. 06

The obligatory flashback episode (minus actual flashbacks, you're welcome).  Yeah, ya kinda have to have read the ones before this to get it, but even then it's still funny.  ^_^

Psst... click the pic. ^_-

A Journey 10-28-2010

A Journey 10-28-2010

It is not the end, just an altered beginning
rough to start, aspirations of winning
the gleeful, the horror, and all in between
the traveling road and the sights to be seen
kisses and misses and hugs between friends
the happy and the crappy and the fences to mend
looking forward to the endless scene
looking behind to see how far you've been
standing in the moment to take it all in
a deep breath and sigh to start it again
hopeful anticipations in the rocky path
like a phoenix arising from the fiery aftermath
never knowing if I will crash or soar
but I know that I'll keep coming back for more
striving and longing for that happy ending
but still, that's not the end, just an altered beginning


Where in the hell did THAT come from?!  o_0

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Help Me

Help Me 10-27-2010

Help me carry my heavy heart;
My beast of burden,
my cross to bear.

Help me clear my heavy head;
Of thoughts so leaden
with deepest care.

Help me with my loving nature;
So easy to tease,
distract, and trick.

Help me quiet my trusting soul;
Such gullible ease
that makes me sick.

Help me stop my generous kindness;
Open to treason
and silent self-fray.

You can't help with any of this;
'Cause you're the reason
I feel this way.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Online Dating Rant-A-Palooza!

A’ight, peeps, strap yourself in and hold on to your bloomers, I’m about to lay down a rant.  Yes, there will be strong language and mature content, so children, please leave the room.

Online singles sites; a marvel of the digital age.  No longer must you troll dingy, smoky bars buying drinks for random strangers that you know nothing about, wasting countless amounts of money only to find out that that person has a rubber fetish or something equally as disturbing.  You can find out so much about all sorts of people instantly without even having to actually speak to the person first, if you choose to do so.  There are so many things about these kinds of websites to love, and besides the full membership fees that some of them have, I can only see one other flaw in their design: the fugging people themselves.

(Now, please keep in mind that this is not directed to any one person in particular because it has happened to me numerous times, so if one of you are reading, no hard feelings.  I just need to get this off my chest and since this is my blog, I figured it would be a great place to do it.)

First off, when you make your profile, you do realize what kind of site it is, right?  No, is not for the avid matchbook collector, is not for mad scientists, and is… well, I don’t have anything clever to say about that, it’s just funny to say; I mean, c’mon, “Gay Bear”?  Kinda redundant doncha think?  Might as well just call it “Gay Gay”.  Anyhoo, I digress.  My point is that these are supposed to be dating sites, as in trying to find that one person that you eventually wanna end up with by dating them.  If you are looking for just friends, then do not take that person out on nice romantic dinners, shower them with compliments, and proceed to get intimate.  That does not a friendship make.  I hate to break it to ya, but that is called D-A-T-I-N-G.  It seems that we as a society have lost the real meaning of that word.  If you want friends, get on FaceBook or MySpace… is MySpace even relevant anymore?  I am so not hip.  :-\

Then we have the person that is just not sure what they want, yet.  Um, dude, maybe you need to take some alone time to figure that out first instead of getting a second person involved in your indecisive antics?  It just isn’t fair to them if you’re trying to figure shit out while they think that everything is going peachy as hell and developing feelings for you.  I don’t want to say it’s akin to leading someone on, but it’s in the same phylum.  If you are not sure what you want, please, for the love of love, deactivate your profile until you feel that you are ready so you don’t unintentionally hurt someone in the process of making up your mind.

Finally we have those skeeze-bags that just wanna get the world record for getting it on with as many people as possible… either that or racking up the most STDs that the human body can handle at one time.  Ew.  Please… please… disconnect your internet and stop associating with the human race, you filthy pig monster.  >_<  Some of us have standards and morals... or at least our own view of them.

In closing I just want to reiterate my points of interest in hopes of educating anyone who might be reading; if you are looking for just friends… no touchy touchy; if you do not know where you are in life and what you want… seek counseling or a ‘higher power’ until you can suss it out; if you are just looking for a little ‘brown chicken brown cow’… please just go away, filthy pig monster.  I hope that this has helped… I know I feel much better!  ^_^

Thursday, October 21, 2010

... and now for something completely different...

That is all.  ^_^

It Gets SO Much Better

I apologize for the awkward beginning and poor lighting! Still, the message is there and I hope that these videos help out.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

State Fair 2010

I finally got to meet Sheena and Zach and see Liza again while going to the State Fair for the FIRST TIME EVER!!  ^_^

Photo album here.

"We are... Essited Bishes!"

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Best of Both Worlds 3

The Best of Both Worlds 3   10-15-2010

I dream of substantial
I fantasize of real
I wish for foundation
I pray to fulfill

Wanting the magic along with my science
reading the myths while utilizing fact
Why can't I have the best of the best?
Grounded in both reality and abstract

I conceive of conclusive
I imagine of true
I visualize absolute
I long to ensue

Life is too short to stay cemented in concrete
Life is too short to just lust it away
Can an amalgam extend the enjoyment in life?
A happier medium, the blissful array

Monday, October 11, 2010

The 10-11-2010

The 10-11-2010

The downward spiral
The exotic dance
The infectious viral
The illustrious trance

The lustful waiting
The fantastic blow
The alluring sedating
The life altering low

The alone seclusion
The black rising tide
The yearn of inclusion
The demanding rules abide

The drink of seduction
The sensuous thirst
The lustful distraction
The long piquing burst

The words on the paper
The meaning within
The inhaled vapor
The exquisite sin

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Haunting of the Crops

In honor of the month of spooks starting, here is a scary TRUE story told by IM messages:

Brad: I've started getting gassy every time I eat bacon.

Brad: NNNNOOOOOOOOO! Say it ain't so!  :-(

Stacy: oh... brad... I don't even know what to say :(

Stacy: but it's totally worth it. ;)

Brad: well, yeah, if i can just blast them out at home

Brad: but I gotta sit on a binder clip to spare my co workers

Stacy: lol  take a "walk" and crop dust  ;)

Brad: they always follow me back to my desk!!!!

Stacy: then you're not walking far enough ;)

Brad: I could go outside, crop dust, come back inside, then I'd hear the automatic doors opening back up again, and I look but no one is there...

Stacy: LMAO

Brad: it's spooky... I have pootergeist O_O


Brad: I think my butt is the location of an ancient Indian burial ground. >_<

Stacy: oh .... oh god... stop! I was on the phone with a CLIENT WHO JUST GOT FIRED... trying not to laugh in his ear

Brad: ROFL!!!

Thursday, September 30, 2010


Hello... my name is Brad... and I'm a Ranger-holic...

You can download the larger High Resolution version here.

EDIT: Dood!  My collage was featured on a Henshin Grid blog post!!!  O_O

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

M.A.R. 05

Psst... click the pic. ^_-

M.A.R. 04

Psst... click the pic. ^_-

M.A.R. 03

Psst... click the pic. ^_-

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

You want me to entertain you while you WHAT?! 0_0

Stacy: and really, this is a no-brainer activity that I can totally do while my boss is gone and yet - continue to talk to you all day :) or ... until you have to go. ;)  it's a very time consuming activity ... but doesn't really require much thought.

Brad: I like that kind of work. ^_^

Stacy: me too - as long as I have someone else to entertain me while I do do

Stacy: while I do IT

Brad: ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Friday, September 10, 2010

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Thursday, August 12, 2010

To tomato or not tomato?

I go downstairs to the deli/cafe type area in my office building. I go to the build-your-own salad bar. I put lettuce, cucumbers, mushrooms, and black olives on the plate. I hear a woman muttering. I turn to see a lady sitting and eating by herself, head turned to look in my general area, finger outstretched and pointing at a chunk of tomato on the floor by her feet. "You dropped something", she repeats. I look at my plate of no-tomato salad and then her plate of what looks like nothing BUT tomatoes. I ignore her and go pay for my salad thinking, "Uh, no I didn't, you lazy crazy!" People really need to take their meds. >_<

EDIT - Ruby Jean!  It was fuggin' Ruby Jean from True Blood!  That loony bitch!

'Cause I'm not large with the butch

So, last night, home alone and bored.  I decide to go play with my makeup (for special effects, not pretty pretty princess) and try to come up with something cool for Halloween.  After playing around with the makeup and washing it off, I say out loud to myself , "Okay, now I need to do something manly to make up for that.  Beer.  I'll have a beer.  That's manly.  Scotch!  That's pretty manly, too!  I'll have a beer and some scotch."  Then I saw a Hershey's Bliss bar, "Oooooooo!!!  Chocolate!  Yay!"  Masculine fail.  >_<  Yeah... the butch never works with me. Not that purses fall out of my mouth every time I speak or anything flamboyant as that!  :-P I try to spit, I end up with a dribble... belches come out silent... and when I scratch myself, I crush a nut. >_<  So, I'm somewhere in the middle of butch and queeny.  This is why I consider myself more geek than gay.  There just isn't a category for me... but I kinda like it that way!  ^_^

Oh, if you can guess (NOT Google) where the title of this post came from, you get bonus geek points from me!  ^_^

Monday, July 19, 2010

Quickies with Brad! 07-19-2010

More quick movie reviews from flicks over the weekend!  ^_^

She's Out of My League - Very cute, charming, and funny movie.  Jay Baruchel and Alice Eve have great chemistry together, but it's the scenes with T. J. Miller and Krysten Ritter that really won me over.  The only issue that I may have had was the high number of main cast members.  I really don't want to remember everyone's name and role during a silly comedy.  Despite that fact, it was a fun ride.  Rent.

Vampires Suck - Everyone that was involved in the making of this "movie" should have to give refunds to everyone that spent money on it and then after they go broke, become homeless, and resort to eating cat food, they should die in agony alone in a ditch... possibly on fire.  The only time that I laughed (which was twice by the way and yes I was counting) was only when comedian Ken Jeong was on screen.  Although the jokes he delivered were horrid, the way that he pulled them off was all his own hilarious style.  You'd be better off just watching his stand up acts.  Pass like a kidney stone.

Carnival of Souls (1998) - Although very loosely based off the original 1962 film of the same name, this version still manages to hold up its own as a very superb piece of horror.  Despite it being twelve years old and having barely any gore, I still found myself cringing and jumping.  Wes Craven rarely lets me down.  Rent.

Alien from L.A. (via MST3K) - Wow.  I cannot believe that anyone could seriously watch this with a straight face.  Kathy Ireland sounded like a wounded kitten that needed to be put down, the makeup jobs looked like something a half retarded gorilla from the 80's would do, and the acting was bland and incomprehensible.  The only, and I mean ONLY way that you should watch this is with my good friends from Mystery Science Theater 3000.  They could make a steaming turd funny.  Actually, they just did with this movie.  Rent.

Teenage Strangler (via MST3K) - Now, I've seen a lot of bad, and I mean BAAAAAAAD movies (see Vampires Suck) but there are some that just don't have ANY sort of redeeming value at all!  Even when Mystery Science Theater 3000 sinks their vicious teeth in this and rip it apart, it still isn't worth the time that you could spend crocheting or learning Dutch.  Pass.

Coming soon: The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Also, I'm gonna change the name of this segment to "Quickies for Commoners: Movie reviews for the non movie snob".  Still gonna keep the quick few lines format with a mixture of comedy and seriousness, and since no one owns the rights to the "Buy, Rent, or Pass" rating system, I will hang on to that until I think of something better.

Until then, thanks for reading!  ^_^

Edit: What do you think of this rating system: "Own, Watch, I'd Rather..."?

The first two are rather self explanatory:
Own - I suggest owning the movie.
Watch - You're good just watching it the one time.

The last one will be unique to me:
I'd Rather... - Something that I'd rather do than watch this movie.  Will be different every time.  "I'd rather watch a good movie."  "I'd rather get a poke in the eye."  "I'd rather lose my eyebrows in a grease fire." etc.

What do you think?!  ^_^

Monday, July 12, 2010

Quickies with Brad!

Just some very quick reviews of a lot of random movies that I have seen recently.

Buy, Rent, or Pass in no particular order:

Twilight Saga - Eclipse: Pretty damned entertaining if I do say so myself.  Although it was long as hell, it totally did not feel as such.  Go see it then buy it when it comes out on DVD.

Repo Men: Despite being a Repo - The Genetic Opera rip-off (many MANY similarities) this was quite awesome!  VERY gory and brutal as all hell, so of course I LOVED it!  Buy, buy, a hundred times BUY!!!

Deadline: A Brittany Murphy flick that I had no idea existed.  It made me miss her unique look and acting style so much more than I already do.  She did such an awesome job and I wish I had the chance to let her know.  :-(  Buy.

Daybreakers: A very unique twist on vampire lore.  A fun gory good time!  Rent.

Darkness: Anna Paquin shows just how boring her acting can be (although I do not believe that is her acting, but just her as she is normally).  A HUGE snore-fest.  If you value your time, pass.  If you have insomnia, doctors will prescribe this to you.

Youth in Revolt: Although I find it hard to believe that any sixteen year olds talk or act like Michael Cera or Portia Doubleday, the movie was enjoyable.  Had it's funny moments, but no belly laughs.  Rent.

Date Night: Within the first five minutes I was doubled over in teary laughter!  Tina Fey and Steve Carell need to breed so we can have generations to come of their comic genius... that is if it is genetically passed.  :-\  If not, I'll just settle for them working together on many more films.  Buy.

The Losers: I admit, I had not read the comic when I watched this, so I really have no reference or idea of what I missed.  As a standalone movie with no knowledge of the comic, it was alright.  Bad guys versus good guys, weak and predictable plot, mediocre acting, and no feeling of conclusion.  Good film to waste time if you have nothing better to do.  Rent.

Kick-Ass: The title says it all!  There wasn't one second of this movie that I did not enjoy!  I cannot wait for the sequel!  Adorable, funny, foul mouthed Hit-Girl (Chloë Moretz) needs her own spin-off!  ^_^  BUY!!!

Percy Jackson & the Olympians - The Lightning Thief: So.  Much.  Awesome.  Fun!  ^_^  I enjoyed it WAY more than I thought I would/could.  Plus, Uma Thurman as Medusa!  Need I say more?!  Buy!

Hot Tub Time Machine: Stupid funny.  Don't worry too much about the temporal physics (like I did), just sit back and laugh.  John Cusack rocked it out like always, but Clark Duke and Rob Corddry stole the show.  Buy.

Slaughter High: A throwback 80's horror flick from my childhood.  Good gravy what an awful movie!  I wish I could break the DVD but I think Netflix would frown on that.  PAAAAASSSSS!!!!!

Prince of Persia - The Sands of Time: Being a fan of the video game trilogy I was very excited to see how this plays out.  Although not EXACTLY like the games, it was still very groovy!  I still don't understand why they couldn't get some actual Persians in this film.  Eyeliner and fake tan does not a Persian make.  Rent.

The Grudge 3: Stop it.  Just stop it.  No no no no and no.  Let it die here, please.  Pass.

The Drawn Together Movie The Movie: *sigh*  Why must you take one of my favorite crude 'toons and try to make a movie out of it?  So effed up it's not even funny.  I mean, yes, there are some laughs along the way, but nothing amounting to the quality of the TV series.  Just stick with the reruns.  Pass.

There's a great segue into this next section; TV shows!  Watched the Series premier of Haven on SyFy.  Although the acting was atrociously bland as all hell, I was still able to find the charm that will keep me watching.  I just hope the acting improves as the series progresses.  Also, this season of True Blood has already made up for the majority of the semi-train wreck that was Season 2 (I say semi because I actually kinda liked the storyline).  If you have never watched an episode of True Blood... what is WRONG with you?!  Hop to it, man!  This has got to be the best thing on TV right now!  Well, at least until Dexter and Weeds comes back.  ^_^

Also, as a nice companion piece to True Blood, Meredith Woerner over at writes up HILARIOUS and very accurate recaps a couple of days after the latest episode airs.  Please go read these and tell her that Brad sent ya!  You'll thank me!  ^_^

Did you see any of these? What did you think? Let me know by posting a comment! Don't worry, you don't have to have an account here to post a comment and you certainly do not have to agree with me. :-P


Running in Place Against a Brick Wall

Running in Place Against a Brick Wall 07-12-2010

I dance the dance
you walk the walk
my breathless pants
your breezy talk

my fruitless labor
your effortless grin
my nothing to savor
your quick easy win

my struggle uphill
your vertical ease
my flailing still
your attractive tease

When will you stop?
When will I catch up?
When will you drop?
When will I usurp?

Monday, June 21, 2010

Busy Being Alone

Busy Being Alone 06-21-2010

The hurried, the busy, the blustery tizzy
Takes stage on the foreground, abound with the new sound
Yet often ignored, the murk of the lonely, blandly and blurry
Centered and anchored and angered and festered
With thoughts of the ending of acting and bearing
Mundane and abstain and verily insane
Sent mad by the quiets amidst riots of zealots
Yearning and turning, the burning's alluring
To light up the night and stave off the fright
A hope for a dope who can no longer cope
Will sit and ponder and wonder but not wander

Thursday, June 17, 2010


Thankful 06-17-2010

To people I've known
to new ones I've met
to those still around
to who I have not met yet

You've tinted my life
with colors dispersed
the rainbow of me
thanks you in verse

You brought forth the light
and guided me to see
if it wasn't for you
I don't know who I'd be

The good and the bad
to the bitter-sweet end
I give thanks to you all
to those I can call 'friend'

I know, not the best, but sometimes I gotta go for the lighter side of writing, the Yang to my Yin, and I felt the need to jot this down for all of you to see how truly grateful I am to have you all in my life, no mater how long or brief it is, will be, or has been.  ^_^  Good gravy, when I let my gay side out, I REALLY let it out!  LOL!  :-P

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Like Sia said...

... Some People Have Real Problems.  (side note, look her up, awesome album.)

For real?  No, I mean really, for real?  *sigh*  To protect the innocent, the name has been changed, yadda yadda...
ZaxxonQ: can you do me a favor?
Person2: hmm
Person2: depends
Person2: LOL
ZaxxonQ: can you get a shotgun and shoot me point blank in the face, please?
ZaxxonQ: >_<
ZaxxonQ: sinus pressure, headache, drainage, and a sore throat from all of that. >_<
ZaxxonQ: I can't stop sneezing. I'm fuggin' miserable!
Person2: lol
Person2: nope
ZaxxonQ: >_<
Person2: ugh
Person2: i'm so sick of this
Person2: since april i've been seeing pics these people have been posting on facebook
Person2: endless pool parties
Person2: PERFECT bodies
Person2: am i the only one in dallas that looks fugly?
Person2: LOL
ZaxxonQ: •_•
ZaxxonQ: you know, right now, with what I'm going through, REAL problems, I just wanna slap you. •_•

Monday, June 14, 2010


Another 06-14-2010

Another time
another place
another smile
on another face

The actions hollow
the exquisite bore
the empty yearnings
the want of more

Prospects and promises
with lingering doubt
teasing and taunting
with loathing throughout

With one journey ended
with the same empty yield
with acknowledging glances
with a kiss sealed

The stagnant dance continues
at the same mundane pace
I spy another smile
on yet another face

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Questions in Lingering

Questions in Lingering 05-18-2010

What do you do with altered perfection,
perception blinded by cracks in the substance,
abuse in the corners of the eyes reflected,
when seeing yourself as you once were?

Where do you go when dealing with impatience,
a longing for what is already sampled,
the taste on your lips that lingers and teases,
with promises of "someday", "one day", and "ever"?

How do you wait for the rose's full bloom,
the healing from wilting, the uprooted sweetness,
the repotted soil now a makeshift home,
in hopes that you'll be there for the plucking?

Who is to blame in this process of assembly,
piecing together what once was whole,
what once was beautiful now terribly damaged,
once was full of love now empty and lost?

When will the tempest calm and settle,
and stop with the lashes of hurtful spite,
and have forgiveness and serenity, appeased,
so that life can continue despite all the pain?

Why does this happen, this torturous limbo,
this twilight of hoping, of longing, of dreaming,
only to find that the real settles in
and sweeps it away as if never having?


Quietly dedicated to John

Monday, April 26, 2010

Inappropriate Comments - The Woe Edition

Why do people leave such inappropriate comments? For example, trying to "one up" the commenter on their status comment of woes, i.e. "Oh, you think YOU'VE got it bad?! Boy-how-dee, lemmie tell ya, I've got it WAY worse!".

   ---#1: I am not looking to win some sort of "woe contest".
   ---#B: I'm not gonna throw down with you and see who has it worse.
   ---#Green: Most of the time their woe is totally different to the one posted, so it would be like comparing apples to dildos. Srsly, WTF?

Then you get the people, the Debbie Downers, who just butt in with their woes in a very inappropriate way, such as posting on someone's obviously happy happy status with a comment that makes the original person feel like a total dick for being so happy! "How dare you be happy on my day of woe!"

Here's my prime example (names have been removed to protect the guilty):

   ---Okay, I have a free weekend and my loan is all paid off. Who wants to do something?! Hit me up! ^_^
      ---You could come up here and go to my grandma's wake... she passed away last night.

For real? For. Real? I did not know how to comment so I just didn't. I was thinking more along the lines of maybe dinner or going to the clubs. I wasn't MOURNING the loss of my loan payments!

I really wanted to say, "Okay, but I get the first dance with her!"

For. Real. >_<

(if this offends you, I do apologize, this was a satirical rant.  Please understand and laugh.)

Monday, April 5, 2010

Played the Two Worlds

Played the Two Worlds 04-05-2010

I've played the two worlds
an actor in both
the identical part
in a journey of growth

The first world so smooth
immaculate, pristine
a perfect bright smile
all-shaven, so clean

Lured by the shine
a beacon to my soul
disarmed by the kind
for once feeling whole

The beauty spouting promises
and compliments ten fold
then turns on a dime
and shows its deathly cold

Judgmental and cruel
rips my soul asunder
now used and disposed of
it moves on to another

The torturous limbo
floating in between
awaiting my next chance
to play my big scene

A new world in my grasp
More rough than clean
More real than the first
More absolute than pristine

More substance to this
More fondness to this
More caring to this
More promise to this

I let myself go
Give into this bliss
and feel a true connection
within every kiss

Between the two worlds
I cannot compare
but this one holds promise
and more acreage to spare

I finally know now
the difference it seems
between achievable reality
and unobtainable dreams

Friday, April 2, 2010


I was given an assignment by Bradley, who is also a fellow poet, as sort of an exorcise to my writing.  I was given the first line and the last line and I had to fill in the rest in thirty minutes.  I am so not used to writing without emotion, but this is what spilled out.  He rather liked it and suggested that I post it on here.  He says that it reminded him of World of Warcraft.  ^_^  I admit, I think it's pretty groovy, too.  Hope ya like it!

The Calm of Cold Cobalt 04-02-2010

The orchids sprayed blue pixie dust
despite my warnings of frost
azure covered my latent trust
as the remnants, to the cold, would be lost

I save what cobalt powder I can
then watch a gust carry the rest away
the blooms, sapped dry, wither and wan
clutching my new treasure, I resolve to stay

The first wave of chills hit like a hammer
Freeze me fast to my core
My futile pleas end in a stammer
Choking on quiet, I await for more

The full on blizzard erupts upon me
The answer lies in my clutch of blue
I inhale, lie down, sleep & drift free
Silence determined which way the wind blew

April Fools Backfire

Okay, so that last post was my April Fools joke, just take your mouse and highlight the big blank space under the blog post to see the hidden message.  What I did not expect was so many people being upset over me leaving!  I feel like such a dolt!  LOL!  That was the only April Fools joke that I could think of!  I'm sorry, peeps, I didn't mean to upset anyone, but I do appreciate the love!  ^_^  That was unexpected and very awesome!  Just know that I am WAY too addicted to the internet and you, my friends, to go anywhere.  Expect years more of Zaxxon Q Blaque's insanity and randomness!  ^_^

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Last post ever. Period.

So, I think the time has come to stop blogging, vlogging, posting, and writing.  I just don’t get anything from it and it takes up way too much of my time.  I don’t have the desire to keep up with this site anymore.  It’s too tedious of a task and I’m calling it quits.  I don’t even know if there’s anyone out there that even pays attention to any of this crap, anyway.  So, this will be the last post I ever do.  It has been fun, but all good things must come to an end.  I will also be deleting my MySpace and FaceBook accounts and deleting all of my online pictures.  I don’t have the time to keep them up to date with my current look.  If ya wanna see me, come see me!  LOL!  It’s that easy!  I will also be taking down ALL of my YouTube videos.  No one watches them anyway and they are taking up to much damn space.  As for all of these past blogs and poems, they will all be deleted in a month.  Sorry, but it is time to for me to join the real world… I suggest you join me do the same.  ;-)

Adios, suckahs!

Brad Sharp (no longer Zaxxon Q Blaque… he died… I murdered him… and hid the body)

If you are a clever little monkey and you see this text, then you should know, if you already don’t, that this is my April Fool’s post.  ;-)  I’m not going anywhere.  ^_^

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Hope, Don't Let Me Down

Hope, Don't Let Me Down 03-30-2010

So, there I was,
the blithering mess,
the quivering boy,
left to my devices,
of self destruct and loathing,
not knowing if I could walk again,
let alone stand.

Then enters desperation,
not the kind that you think,
the one dripping promises
of escape from the pain,
the hurt of a lifetime,
from lack of defenses
not wielded in years.

Begrudgingly lifted
the haphazard shields,
so awkward and clumsy,
too heavy a burden
for simultaneously wanting,
to let someone in.

The shields were lose bandages,
a covering of sorts,
still sloppily placed
with gaps left intentional
to feel the sting of air,
to know it was real,
to know I was still alive

The hope was an ointment,
a temporary crutch,
turned addiction to the dream,
the sweet flavor of 'what if?',
got drunk-sick off its prospect,
hung-over from awaiting,
still I nursed at the bottle.

I know there is an answer
laced at the bottom
of the swagger decanter,
I drink of the nectar,
and spit of the bitter,
a race to the bottom,
a race to salvation.

My hope in a bottle,
my hope in another,
my hope in myself,
my hope of the future,
my hope in hope itself.
Hope, don't let me down,
and I promise to do the same.


It’s funny how I have repetitively referenced drinking and alcohol in some of my more recent poems.  Thinking back on them, I can see the allure and similarities.  To crave for and find joy in something that could potentially hurt you or let you down seems to be my biggest recent struggles; the disappointment that would come from the source of my greatest happiness that could pose a threat to me as my greatest woe.  Although I’m not an alcoholic, I can comparatively see the ongoing struggle within between oneself and the bottle.  My figurative bottle: the never-ending chase for the elusive content and happiness and wrestling to keep hope alive against possible failure.  Doesn’t seem like much… 
... but then again, neither does a shot.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Gesundheit? o_0

A random conversation with April:

Brad: *sneezes*

April: Bless you!

Brad: Ahhh!  It BUUUURNS!  Take it back!  I'm allergic!  LOL!

April: Well, what am I supposed to say?  Go to hell?!


Can you just imagine that?!  ^_^

Person 1: *sneezes*

Person 2: Go to hell!!!

Person 1:  O_O

Thursday, March 25, 2010

03-25-2010 aka Roses are Red...

Roses are red (and pink)
Carnations are white
Guess who had
a fabulous night?


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

M.A.R. 02

Not really the best, but look at how happy Rae is!  ^_^

Click it!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

It’s a wonder Mrs. Garrett didn’t murder the girls!

Ugh!  I didn’t expect all of this crap when considering becoming a parent.  >_<  No, really... literal crap!  These girls poo constantly!  They eat, they poo.   They sleep, they poo.  They run on the little plastic wheel, they poo and the poo travels in circles with them!  UGH!  >_<

Plus they piss EVERYWHERE!  My GOD!  I have to clean the little plastic wheel and observation deck (now dubbed “poop deck”) everyday, sometimes twice a day!  I had no idea that something SO tiny could make such a big stench!  >_<  They are also on that fracking wheel all the damn time!  The clickity-clack of their little claws haunts my dreams at night!  Sometimes, they will even take a food pellet in there with them while running which is not unlike pennies in a dryer.  Why do they do it?!  I have no idea!  I think they hate me!  I’m gonna replace the solid plastic wheel with a classic metal mesh wheel and get rid of the poop deck.  Hopefully that’ll solve some problems.

I was thinking of getting a little black mouse to join them and calling her Tootie (no, that’s not racist, that’s just being historically accurate), but eff that idea in the bum!  Hell, I should’ve just gotten ONE mouse instead of two to ease myself into parenthood.  *sigh*  I dunno what I’m gonna do.  I though two tiny tiny mice would be easy.  Boy-how-dee was I wrong!  Anyone got any tips for a new dad?!

Friday, March 19, 2010

There will be Blood… just not in my mouth anymore. >_< (a review)

To tell this tale, we have to travel back. Back to X-mas of 2009. Since we were all snow & iced in, the girls (April & Steph) and I decided to have our night of gift exchange at the apartment rather than back in Cleburne and back at April’s place. They thoughtfully gave me an action figure of Dexter Morgan from the Showtime series Dexter. If you know me, you know that I’m in LOVE with Dexter. Along with the figure they included a bag of a new energy drink called Blood. If you know me, you know that I LOVE energy drinks. It looked so real in the tiny I.V. bag! Since I thought it was such a nifty novelty, I thought I’d keep it as long as it will last in the little plastic bag. It still rests on my closet shelf alongside Mr. Morgan. Sometimes when I go into my closet to change, I glance at it and briefly wonder what the energy drink taste like, and then continue what I was doing knowing that I would never actually open it and drink it.

Recently I had the opportunity to purchase another bag of the novelty refreshment. Since I was in need of a little boost, I figured “Why not?” When I got to the car, I opened the little white plastic tipped nozzle and was greeted by what can only be described as a “coagulated” bit of the drink blocking the opening of the nozzle. I thought that it was just some clever little extra that they included to make it more like real blood. I placed my lips on the tip, squeezed, gently sucked, and chewed on the coagulation while drinking some of the fluid. As I backed away from the opening and inhaled, I got the full on flavor of what I just devoured. Now, I don’t know if it was just a subliminal suggestion or what the case may be, but the shit actually tasted a bit like real effin’ blood. I almost upchucked. I read the package carefully to reassure myself that it was just a harmless energy drink: protein and iron infused fruit punch flavored B-vitamin energy supplement. Number one, fruit punch flavored my left butt cheek! Maybe it tastes like fruit punch after drinking fruit punch and then getting an actual punch in the mouth, but just plain ol’ fruit punch it was not. Second, maybe what I was tasting was the combination of it all; flavoring & B-vitamins swirling with the protein & iron. I’ve had energy drinks before, but none with the latter two ingredients which I imagine as the blood-flavoring culprits. Thankfully, I can push on in a mind-over-matter kind of way and just tell myself “it’s just an energy drink, it’s just an energy drink” and finished it without wasting my moolah, but I’ll be damned if it still didn’t taste a bit like real blood. It also didn't help that it was room temperature. >_< Plus, I did not get a bit of a kick from the so called "energy" drink in the slightest.

Yeah, pretty sure I’ll just stick with sugar-free Monster and the Mana & Health energy drinks for when I need an extra bit of pep in my step.

Final verdict: DO NOT BUY… unless you’re one of those creepy goth weirdoes that actually think they are a vampire or wanna be a poser vamp.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

M.A.R. 01

M.A.R. 01 is now up!  Wassat you say?  Where is the "s"?  Wasn't there already a "01"?  Oh you silly internet people!  Now that I have revamped the comic to an all digital format and is no longer on the back of any physical paper report, I thought that the title needed a revamp as well!  No more M.A.R.s.  We now begin anew with M.A.R.!  ^_^  Hope ya like it and feel free to comment, any comment!  I appreciate the feedback!

Click on the cool new title!  ^_^

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

M.A.R.s #09

Yes!  It's finally here!  I've also decided to save trees!  No more paper, all MS Paint!  That means that it is no longer done on the backs of my Missing Account Reports, which is where it got its name, but it is still staring Max, Art, and Rae, so it still works.  ^_^  Yay!  Hope you enjoy it!

Click the old title logo! New logo coming for the next comic!

Batman's new nemesis: The Twitterer!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

03-10-2010 aka Karaoke Brad

Okay, yes, I know... I look horrible.  Thought that I'd match the way that I sound.  :-P  Just a little ditty that I whipped up real quick-like.  I know that I can't sing, I don't need you to tell me so.  :-|  If ya like this, I might post me singing my other songs from my book.  I hope I can remember the tune to them!  >_<

Oh lord, I can't believe I'm showing this to the world!  LOL!  It's SO awful!  I'm so embarrassed!  ROFL!

If Only You Knew  03-10-2010

The nights still pass on
With you gone
I know I was wrong
I hurt for so long
I long for the dawn

And the day
What can I say
To make it right
I'd put a fight
Yet right here I lay

In my grave
Dug yesterday
I pour the dirt
On my hurt
And now I wait...

I realize now that I fucked up
Remembering laughs we shared in the dark
Reflecting back on how I just blew up
If only you knew what's in my heart

If only you knew how much I loved you
If only you knew how much I care
If only you knew how much I miss you
If only you knew how much I wish I was there

If only you knew...

I pick myself up
Shake it off
Wipe off the dirt
Hide my hurt
Continue on

With my life
No more tears or strife
I've let it all go
But time moves slow
I'm sure you know

I can't carry this regret forever
I know in the end that I'll endeavor
This is so hard for me to sever
If only you knew the meaning of never

If only you knew how much I loved you
If only you knew how much I care
If only you knew how much I miss you
If only you knew how much I wish I was there

If only you knew...

I say my goodbye
As I cry
Wipe dry my eyes
And realize
You were never mine

If only you knew how much I loved you
If only you knew how much I care
If only you knew how much I miss you
If only you knew how much I wish I was there

If only you knew...


An apology to your ears.  :-P