Thursday, October 20, 2011

I'm dumb? - Most Epic Spam EVER!

This... this is the MOTHER of ALL spam e-mails!!!  I mean, just... wow!  If anyone falls for this, they DESERVE to lose everything they own, including but not limited to various internal organs.  If you really think that you were in a near fatal accident which rendered you deaf and dumb (is that even PC anymore???) and that you forgot about it until this e-mail, you need to save us all the time, space, and resources and fling yourself off the nearest cliff to make room for someone with half a brain.  Now, I present to you, the most EPIC spam e-mail EVER!!!  ^_^

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JP MORGAN CHASE BANK, NA/CTC
20-22 Berkeley Square
London W1J 6EQ
United Kingdom
Office Phone +447035959636
Fax: +448704861139
Private Email:greegho@yahoo.com

Attention:

I am Gregg Hollcot from JP MORGAN CHASE BANK it have been very clear that you once had a contract in Nigeria/Inheritance and your money was swiftly transfer into our bank without your notice because We just receive this shocking news of a near fatal accident that left you with a broken spinal cord which impaired your ability to hear and speak.

In order words, we have been officially informed that you are now invalid, deaf and dumb arising from a motor accident which damaged your spinal cord. This information is provided to us by your Nigerian Lawyer appointed to oversee your transaction.

Furthermore, the Lawyer presents us a set of documents to portray that you have willed your funds to him and has given him a Power of Attorney to take over your transaction and claim your outstanding funds accordingly.

In view of the sympathetic and sensible nature of this report, we are obliged to confirm this from you before taking action in favour of your Lawyer by wiring the funds to his chosen bank account as well as sympathize with you.

Please confirm the validity of this report and state clearly whether you are invalid, deaf and dumb arising from your auto accident.

To further convince us that you are the very person, I would prefer you call me immediately you receive this message otherwise, we would have no choice but to act according to you’re Will.

Your Company Name
Your Full Name:
Your Occupation:
Sex:
Country/State:
Your Physical Address:
Marital Status:
Office Phone Number:
Home Phone Number:
Cell Phone Number:
Copy of Your Identification:

Thanks,
Mr Gregg Hollcot
JP MORGAN CHASE BANK

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*signs*Yeah, I'll get right on that... dumbass.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Jew Hell


Stacy:  Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell?

Brad:  Oh, I have crossed that line, looped around, and crossed it again so many times

Stacy:  Me too!

Brad:  Jews don't go to hell... you just go to a version of Heaven where everything is full priced

Stacy:  LMFAO ROTF!  No fuggin doubt!  "What?!?! RETAIL!?!? GTFO"

Brad:  "Oy vey, this place! $10 for a reuben sandwich?! I know I have unlimited funds, but I got an eternity to save up for!"

Stacy:  HAHAHAHAHAHHA oh Brad, you're going to make me laugh so hard tears run down my leg!

Brad:  LOL!!!! You're naaaasty.