Friday, April 29, 2011

Fun Fabulous Flatulent Friday! ^_^

Brad: omg, my tummy is talking to me... my few courses of Tummy Gurgle to English has it roughly translated to "Thank you for the delicious food! As a reward, please enjoy this noxious death gas. Have a nice nap!"
Stacy: lmao rotf.
Stacy: yeah, I fear mine is headed that way, too 
Stacy: hahahaha
Brad: Oh great, we're the Stank Siblings. >_<
Brad: Toot Twins
Brad: Fabulous Fart Force
Stacy: LMAO Oh... my ....god
Stacy: *laughing out loud, seriously, and hurting my abs since last night was an abs night at the gym*
Brad: LOL, the DooDoo Duo
Brad: ROFL!
Stacy: *leaned to the side and had to release a stinky ass demon* HA! take *that* Paula! 
Brad: OMG-LMFAO-BBQ!!!!!!!
Stacy:  I earned a touché for that one.
Stacy: *leans to the other side to let out it's twin brother* WHEW! I'm stinking myself out over here! 
Brad: I ain't touchin' THAT touché!
Brad: I can just hear Paula walking in there now... "*sniff* What died in here?" "Your dignity."
Stacy: "your teeth" 
Brad: "Your insides"
Stacy: "your cramping vagina" 
Brad: Ha! ^_^ "Your sobriety"
Stacy: "your chances of snagging a man"
Brad: LOL!!! "Your fashion sense."
Stacy: (pft she never had any to begin with)
Brad: "Bitch, let me tell you what DIDN'T die; that would be a shorter list."
Stacy: LMAO ROTF. TOUCHE! Brad, Touché. 
Brad: ^_^

Has anyone ever been THAT excited?! o_0

Brad: I am so giddy I could poop!
Brad: uh
Brad: POP
Brad: o_0
Brad: one of your O's got away
Stacy: best typo ever 
Stacy: and best follow up EVER
Brad: ROFL!  X-D

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Do SPAM Bots Really Work with Anyone?!

[09:58] david zagar: hey u there? :-)
[09:58] zaxxonq: hey, you spam?
[09:58] david zagar:  :-) hey 
[09:59] zaxxonq: hello... do I know you?
[10:00] david zagar: well...i kinda have a fetish for being on camera, do you like to cam at all?? 
[10:00] zaxxonq: no
[10:00] david zagar: have you ever used MyRandomCam? its a free site that uses yahoo cam to let us chat live and do whatever we want without anyone seeing hehe..
[10:01] zaxxonq: again, no I do not
[10:01] david zagar: here, click this, this is my link on there http://********.com
[10:01] zaxxonq: you click it! >:-(
[10:02] david zagar: go there and my video will load, just click the "Verify" button on the bottom left...its 100% free to join you only need a credit card to verify that you are over 18 
[10:02] zaxxonq: yeah, I don't have a credit card... I am homeless and using someone's laptop at Starbucks while they are in the bathroom
[10:03] david zagar: hey to you to
[10:03] zaxxonq: I love hay... I sleep on hay.
[10:03] david zagar: i love the site cause its streams fast in real-time... fill out your info, its free k?
[10:03] zaxxonq: that's awesome. do you have any loose change?
[10:04] david zagar: i use this site to play on cause i don't want to be recorded!...this site doesn't allow people to record my cam! just click the "Verify" button on the bottom left of the page and we'll be able to have a live chat
[10:04] zaxxonq: great! can you give me a hot meal, too?
[10:04] david zagar: credit card is just to verify your age, u get in for free thru my cam session invite since I'm a premium member, but u need to verify babe just click the Verify button it takes one sex..sorry "sec" lol 
[10:06] zaxxonq: *rolls eyes* I'd rather have a sammich or something. seriously, I'm hungry and the owner of this laptop will be coming out of the bathroom soon!
[10:06] david zagar: let me know if you need any help logging in..i'm gonna slip into something nice for you..k? 
[10:07] zaxxonq: I DO need help! Medical help! I got bit by a police dog and I think it's infected. *sniffs* Yep, infected.
[10:07] david zagar: hahaha! call em! and tell them you are reporting a felony... YOUR HAIRSTYLE!! You might wanna get that looked at!
[10:08] zaxxonq: why you gotta kick a hungry, injured, homeless guy while he's down? :-(
[10:08] david zagar: What i got is my webcam 
[10:08] zaxxonq: can I have it? I could get a few bucks for it...
[10:09] david zagar: im the girl in the main video that loads
[10:09] zaxxonq: David is a strange name for a girl... is that Hungarian?
[10:09] david zagar: jennifer is my real name but all my friends call me jenny
[10:09] zaxxonq: I'll just call you David
[10:10] david zagar: k
[10:10] zaxxonq: lmnop
[10:10] david zagar: are u in babe??
[10:10] zaxxonq: No, I'm in Texas
[10:11] david zagar: k
[10:11] zaxxonq: kkk

Friday, April 22, 2011

A Morning Conversation with Stacy

This... this is what gets me through my days.  I would be lost in a blind rage of screaming profanities and flying bullets if it wasn't for this chick-a-dee. ^_^
Brad: My GAWD, stupid people make me wanna drink! >_<
Stacy: What stupidity have you encountered that makes you want to drink so early in the morning?  
Brad: There is a new treasurer for one of my clients... when a bank will not help us with their accounts, we have to work with them to get them to work with the bank to clear up the issues we are having... capice?
Stacy: Follow you so far...
Brad: Well, this newbie sounds and acts like he just fell off the short bus after licking all the windows... :-/ srsly... f'real.... I have no idea who he blew to get this job.
Brad: So, of course once he is hired, I have issues with a bunch of different accounts for them and have to work with him.  He's frustratingly DUMB.  There is no other word for it.
Stacy: Ugh, I feel your pain. 
Brad: I give him ALL the information and instructions that he needs in order to contact the bank and resolve shit, and he STILL insist on responding to my e-mails with a telephone call... "Uh, so, uhm, you need me to call dis here bank?" 
Brad: :-|  "Yes, Jethro!"  >_<
Brad: Also, I do not get responding to my e-mails with a phone call... he USED to reply to the e-mail and then immediately call, "Hey Brad, I replied to your e-mail."
Brad: "Really? No shit?"  :-|
Stacy: ...are you serious?
Brad: VERY serious.
Brad: So, now I just ignore the phone when I see it's from him... which in turn forces him to reply by e-mail.
Stacy: LOL...what a tardo.
Brad: Now, I need a shot.  LOL.
Stacy: I don't blame you.  I'm going to have to get you a mini flask for days like this.
Brad: You ARE!!!   It boggles me how people that are SO inept at simple life routines can even muster the thought to go through the process to feed themselves without injury! 
Stacy: I know, right?
Brad: I just imagine a bunch of stupid people with sporks in their eye.
Stacy: LMAO
Stacy: My mom just sent me a text "RU up" 
Stacy: Really mom, use English.
Brad: Reply with "No." Confuse the shit outta her.
Stacy: LMAO
Brad: In other happier news...
Brad: So, Kenzi ate, like, a LOT yesterday... when I went to pick her up, my hand could not close around her and she felt as heavy as a sandbag.
Stacy: Wow! 
Brad: Srsly... tubbeh puppeh...
Brad: Anyhoo, I expected her to take a BIG ol' dump before bed........ nope.  Nada.
Stacy: Uh-oh...
Brad: So, this morning, she wakes me up for the first time with whimpers! She never growls, barks, whimpers, ANYTHING! She is not a vocal puppeh!
Stacy: That's good, though - right? 
Brad: Yes, it is VERY good!!!!
Brad: So, I jet outta bed and run her downstairs... and she proceeded to take the BIGGEST shit I have ever seen come out of a dog! I saw her belly shrink!
Brad: I was not upset at the slightest that she woke me 30 minutes before my alarm. ^_^
Stacy: LMAO that's awesome!
Brad: So, I go in and check her bed just to make sure..... spotless. ^_^  So proud of my big gurl!
Stacy: That's great!  So proud!
Stacy: In related news... Rudy did the same thing last night and then had the poopies today.  His experience was a bit different. No accidents but he had the puppy poopie runs when I took him out this morning.  Poor guy.
Brad: Her's were a bit mushy, too, but otherwise a big ol' log.  I wanted to yell "TIMBER!" when I saw that thing! It was massive!
Stacy: That would've been awesome, especially if some random person was just walking by.
Brad: LOL, I did tell her, "Now I know why you shake so much; that must've hurt like hell!"
Stacy: You got an audible laugh for that one.
Brad: LOL! Yay!!! ^_^

Thursday, April 21, 2011

"Hey, Sport, how're they hangin'?"

Passing co-worker: "What's going on?"

Brad on his way back to his desk after leaving the bathroom:
*thinks to himself*
"Well, I just urinated; it was a bright yellow color; then I washed my hands, which I don't see many people do so could you please follow my lead on that? Now, I am heading back to my desk to do more work when I was interrupted by your inane social dribble that has way too vague of a context to answer, so I'm telling you everything."

*in actuality* 
"Not much."

*keeps walking*

I just don't get the need to say something, ANYTHING, to people that you pass by, Next time I'm just gonna blurt out "Porkchop!" and see what the results are. Would not be surprised if the response is the automated "Not much."

Am I just lacking that human necessity to make a daily connection with anyone, no matter how small, fleeting, or trivial it may be?  Can't wrap my lobes around it...

Monday, April 18, 2011


path·o·gen  (pth-jn) n. - A disease-producing microorganism.

So a friend of mine had a school project; create a collage to form the idea or definition of a given word.  Her word was 'pathogen'.  She decided to get friends to sing or speak different lines of Rebecca Black's song "Friday" to define it.  I think it fits.  ^_^

Anyhoo, I was one of those little voices in that project.  Hope ya like it!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Old Tinkerbell Blog

Sorry I have not been on in a long while.  Just kinda in a funk.  I am sure you have had those.  So to fill in the time, here is a throwback to one of my earlier, more awesome blogs.  Enjoy!  ^_^

Brad:  "Hey, Arielle, why don't you allow HTML code in your comments?"

Arielle:  "I dont allow HTML, because I don't like a bunch of videos taking up my entire page.  Also I hate those HTML flashing gif images that say stupid shit like "Have a great day" with a big picture of Tinkerbell riding a donkey or something."

You asked for this one, Kid:

Like you didn't see THAT coming.  :-P  I LOVE that she's riding all sidesaddle like a lady.  ^_^