Friday, April 22, 2011

A Morning Conversation with Stacy

This... this is what gets me through my days.  I would be lost in a blind rage of screaming profanities and flying bullets if it wasn't for this chick-a-dee. ^_^
Brad: My GAWD, stupid people make me wanna drink! >_<
Stacy: What stupidity have you encountered that makes you want to drink so early in the morning?  
Brad: There is a new treasurer for one of my clients... when a bank will not help us with their accounts, we have to work with them to get them to work with the bank to clear up the issues we are having... capice?
Stacy: Follow you so far...
Brad: Well, this newbie sounds and acts like he just fell off the short bus after licking all the windows... :-/ srsly... f'real.... I have no idea who he blew to get this job.
Brad: So, of course once he is hired, I have issues with a bunch of different accounts for them and have to work with him.  He's frustratingly DUMB.  There is no other word for it.
Stacy: Ugh, I feel your pain. 
Brad: I give him ALL the information and instructions that he needs in order to contact the bank and resolve shit, and he STILL insist on responding to my e-mails with a telephone call... "Uh, so, uhm, you need me to call dis here bank?" 
Brad: :-|  "Yes, Jethro!"  >_<
Brad: Also, I do not get responding to my e-mails with a phone call... he USED to reply to the e-mail and then immediately call, "Hey Brad, I replied to your e-mail."
Brad: "Really? No shit?"  :-|
Stacy: ...are you serious?
Brad: VERY serious.
Brad: So, now I just ignore the phone when I see it's from him... which in turn forces him to reply by e-mail.
Stacy: LOL...what a tardo.
Brad: Now, I need a shot.  LOL.
Stacy: I don't blame you.  I'm going to have to get you a mini flask for days like this.
Brad: You ARE!!!   It boggles me how people that are SO inept at simple life routines can even muster the thought to go through the process to feed themselves without injury! 
Stacy: I know, right?
Brad: I just imagine a bunch of stupid people with sporks in their eye.
Stacy: LMAO
Stacy: My mom just sent me a text "RU up" 
Stacy: Really mom, use English.
Brad: Reply with "No." Confuse the shit outta her.
Stacy: LMAO
Brad: In other happier news...
Brad: So, Kenzi ate, like, a LOT yesterday... when I went to pick her up, my hand could not close around her and she felt as heavy as a sandbag.
Stacy: Wow! 
Brad: Srsly... tubbeh puppeh...
Brad: Anyhoo, I expected her to take a BIG ol' dump before bed........ nope.  Nada.
Stacy: Uh-oh...
Brad: So, this morning, she wakes me up for the first time with whimpers! She never growls, barks, whimpers, ANYTHING! She is not a vocal puppeh!
Stacy: That's good, though - right? 
Brad: Yes, it is VERY good!!!!
Brad: So, I jet outta bed and run her downstairs... and she proceeded to take the BIGGEST shit I have ever seen come out of a dog! I saw her belly shrink!
Brad: I was not upset at the slightest that she woke me 30 minutes before my alarm. ^_^
Stacy: LMAO that's awesome!
Brad: So, I go in and check her bed just to make sure..... spotless. ^_^  So proud of my big gurl!
Stacy: That's great!  So proud!
Stacy: In related news... Rudy did the same thing last night and then had the poopies today.  His experience was a bit different. No accidents but he had the puppy poopie runs when I took him out this morning.  Poor guy.
Brad: Her's were a bit mushy, too, but otherwise a big ol' log.  I wanted to yell "TIMBER!" when I saw that thing! It was massive!
Stacy: That would've been awesome, especially if some random person was just walking by.
Brad: LOL, I did tell her, "Now I know why you shake so much; that must've hurt like hell!"
Stacy: You got an audible laugh for that one.
Brad: LOL! Yay!!! ^_^

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