Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Online Dating Rant-A-Palooza!

A’ight, peeps, strap yourself in and hold on to your bloomers, I’m about to lay down a rant.  Yes, there will be strong language and mature content, so children, please leave the room.

Online singles sites; a marvel of the digital age.  No longer must you troll dingy, smoky bars buying drinks for random strangers that you know nothing about, wasting countless amounts of money only to find out that that person has a rubber fetish or something equally as disturbing.  You can find out so much about all sorts of people instantly without even having to actually speak to the person first, if you choose to do so.  There are so many things about these kinds of websites to love, and besides the full membership fees that some of them have, I can only see one other flaw in their design: the fugging people themselves.

(Now, please keep in mind that this is not directed to any one person in particular because it has happened to me numerous times, so if one of you are reading, no hard feelings.  I just need to get this off my chest and since this is my blog, I figured it would be a great place to do it.)

First off, when you make your profile, you do realize what kind of site it is, right?  No, is not for the avid matchbook collector, is not for mad scientists, and is… well, I don’t have anything clever to say about that, it’s just funny to say; I mean, c’mon, “Gay Bear”?  Kinda redundant doncha think?  Might as well just call it “Gay Gay”.  Anyhoo, I digress.  My point is that these are supposed to be dating sites, as in trying to find that one person that you eventually wanna end up with by dating them.  If you are looking for just friends, then do not take that person out on nice romantic dinners, shower them with compliments, and proceed to get intimate.  That does not a friendship make.  I hate to break it to ya, but that is called D-A-T-I-N-G.  It seems that we as a society have lost the real meaning of that word.  If you want friends, get on FaceBook or MySpace… is MySpace even relevant anymore?  I am so not hip.  :-\

Then we have the person that is just not sure what they want, yet.  Um, dude, maybe you need to take some alone time to figure that out first instead of getting a second person involved in your indecisive antics?  It just isn’t fair to them if you’re trying to figure shit out while they think that everything is going peachy as hell and developing feelings for you.  I don’t want to say it’s akin to leading someone on, but it’s in the same phylum.  If you are not sure what you want, please, for the love of love, deactivate your profile until you feel that you are ready so you don’t unintentionally hurt someone in the process of making up your mind.

Finally we have those skeeze-bags that just wanna get the world record for getting it on with as many people as possible… either that or racking up the most STDs that the human body can handle at one time.  Ew.  Please… please… disconnect your internet and stop associating with the human race, you filthy pig monster.  >_<  Some of us have standards and morals... or at least our own view of them.

In closing I just want to reiterate my points of interest in hopes of educating anyone who might be reading; if you are looking for just friends… no touchy touchy; if you do not know where you are in life and what you want… seek counseling or a ‘higher power’ until you can suss it out; if you are just looking for a little ‘brown chicken brown cow’… please just go away, filthy pig monster.  I hope that this has helped… I know I feel much better!  ^_^

1 comment:

  1. Never let anyone make you wear a sash that says "runner up".