Saturday, August 4, 2012

Million Dollar Heaven

Today I found one of those fake million dollar bills on the ground; y'know, the ones that are supposed to make you think "Dur hur, a MILLION DOLLAR BILL!  WOOHOO!" and then when you pick it up, it disappoints you with Christian scripture on the back that is supposed to make you ponder about life, death, and eternal salvation.  Do these ever work?  Do they ever really fool anyone and trick them into Christianity?  Is there really a point to this?  I just do not get why Christians keep pushing their religion on others by tossing garbage on the ground.  Don't they realize that littering is illegal and is punishable with a five hundred dollar fine?  Maybe they can use one of these "bills" to pay it with.  Anyway, I digress; the point I am making is why does this one religion feel the need to litter and go door to door trying to recruit others into their beliefs?  Are they that insecure?  Are they really that lonely?  Do they get bonus points in heaven for however many people they get to join their flock?  "I see you got fifteen people to join you! Here's a pair of wings.  And for you... oh dear... I'm sorry... you only got three people.  Here's half a chicken wing and an unstrung harp."  Is it just me or does this seem like borderline cult activity?  Going around and trying to round up people to join your little crusade?  I know that homosexuality is not a religion (although we're both on our knees a lot) but they preach about the "gay agenda".  What about the shady "Christian agenda"?  If anything, they are worse!  We do not go around trying to recruit people.  We don't drop fake issues of Sports Illustrated with hardcore images of boy on boy sex and quotes like "Gurl, you needs to join us!  Gay sex is GOOD!"  We don't go door to door with "Haaaay!  How you doin'?!  Have you discovered the joys of your prostate?  Wouldn't you want to be in the arms of man love?"  I also don't see many other religions resorting to this tactic.  I have never come across a plastic gelt with the text "Oy!  You want the real thing?  Don't be a meshugeneh!  Come join us at temple and have a sandwich!"  I just don't get what the ever loving Christ is wrong with this religion and what the hell happened to it to make it so damn twisted.

In closing... don't fucking litter.


  1. People take things to the extreme... But... as a Christian (not Bible-beating, littering, one)...I get this.... it is taught that you become fishers of men when you accept Christ.
    When one is really saved by Jesus and feels His love within their heart, one wants everyone in the world to share that awesome feeling of completely unconditional bliss.
    People that haven't truly accepted Jesus as their Savior just don't get it.... and that's ok... as a Christian (not Bible-beating, littering one)... I just pray that those who don't get it now will someday...
    Religion is screwed up.
    God isn't.

  2. I get that, I do, but this isn't something that should be forced upon people and then looked down upon or punished for not following. Like you said, God is not screwed up, but religion has become so damn twisted and negative that it really makes one think. Everyday there is another thing that makes me lose faith in the human race.

    “I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” -Gandhi

  3. "Have you discovered the joys of your prostate?"