Tuesday, May 1, 2012

My Life on the Triple Z-List

How do you know that you have watched WAY too much Katy Griffin - My Life on the D-List? When you have a dream that YOU are a famous comedian.

Scene: Late at night in a grocery store, the bakery area, one person there closing up.

I asked the lady if she could stay and make me one thing before she leaves.  She agrees (y'know, because I'm SO famous) and I hand her a bag of Hershey Kisses, the cherry cordial kind. I ask her to make me those sugar cookies with a kiss on the top.  She makes them and I thank her with $1000 and "Thank you so much!  Had you not put speed bumps on these damn things, the whole bag would've been gone in an hour!"  She laughs.

Scene: Walking in a parking lot, in Kiki drag (side note, I am thin and hawt as hell!), and I see Shane Dawson.

He greets me (y'know, because I'm SO famous) and asks me how I'm doing.  I answer, still in character, "Oh, busy as fugg!  Just workin' and tryin' to raise my chidlins."  "I didn't know you had kids!"  "Yeah... little Jamiroquai and little *random clicks and whistles*, named after my ancestors from the motherland... Germany.  You know..."  He laughs.

Scene: My big ass mansion (y'know, because I'm SO famous), talking to Geoffrey, my live in butler (he's about 60).

"There's a wet spot in the living room!  It was either you or the dog!  Either way, someone is getting whacked with a newspaper!"  He laughs and cleans it up.

I have issues...  >_<